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Come Away With Me, 12:36 PM, Saturday, October 3, 2009
Summer is Over
Summer is over, means September is over. October comes along with Autumn. People come and go as season passes. New people will come into our lives as new season comes. Its hard to keep things balance specially when if your in doubt bout almost everything in your own life and you think your not perfect in so many ways that you will go thinking you don't deserve the good things that happens to you and thinking you don't deserve the people you have.
Summer is over, means a new season is upon us and that we have to meet new people and try to keep in touch with the old ones. Its not easy. Who says its ever easy. People have to meet each other half way or less its just gonna end up right back at the beginning acquaintances. I a bit blur la these days. So my writings are not making any sense to you guys but to me only. Lol. I watch Grey's Anatomy Season 6 yesterday and at the end of episode 2 where Dr. Bailey talked at the elevator and pour her soul out on what's bugging her after George death and Stevens cancer. She said, "Look, I am an attending. And, I am a single mother. And I lost O'Malley. And um, I just can't. I can't care anymore. Stevens is not my child. O'Malley was not my child. I have to stop treating them... I just have to stop caring so much. 'Cause I can't keep feeling... feeling like this. Not at work. I have to save the feeling for my son, who needs it. I just can't keep giving it away here. I can't. I won't."
That there made me wanna say it out loud to everyone who takes people kindness for granted and not appreciating it. I teared when I listen to those words as Dr. Bailey tried to hold back her tears in the show. Its true, we take peoples kindness and their caring on a daily basis for granted. I for one knows how it feels cause I was able to understand and feel the pain that Dr. Bailey was going through. We don't know how lucky we are to have families who cares about us and waits for us for dinner back home yet we choose to rather stay out late. We don't know how lucky we are to have friends you know who will come all the way just to see how you are when you called saying your feeling all blue.
It's so easy to take things and just use them right? Then try appreciating them and take time to care about them back. There are a lot of people who gives their care so easily and they end up getting hurt. But there are also a lot of people who do not know how to care and in the end they end up hurting other people who care about them.
My semester break is almost over and done. Another week then I'm back to college with friends whom I haven't seen for almost a month. I miss them. And I know I will miss work when I start my classes again. I love them all dearly. But I can't have it all my way. Like Dr. Bailey says, "I just have to stop caring so much. 'Cause I can't keep feeling... feeling like this. Not at work. I have to save the feeling for my son, who needs it. I just can't keep giving it away here. I can't. I won't." In my situation of course.
"We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.
We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can."