Shhhh.. Don't speak till you read. Don't judge till you judge yourself.
and just judging who I am and what I write about.
If you do have something to say nonetheless then I shall listen. :]
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So Come Away With Me to my side of the story and hear me out.
Come Away With Me, 5:28 PM, Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Gonna talk and write just a lil today. Last paper tomorrow which is MORAL a LAN subject that is compulsory for Malaysian Students! Crappy. I know. Well it’s at 3pm-5pm. Then I’m free and it’s back to WORK for ME! At STARBUCKS TIME SQUARE! Not sure when do I get back to work yet though. =)
It’s been quite a while since my peeps are saying I look pretty. Which for me pretty isn’t really what I see myself in the mirror everyday. I feel weird and all hehehe or hahaha sarcastically when ever my peeps say that. It’s a compliment I know. I’m just not used to it. Plus I don’t see myself as pretty but average. But what makes them say that I’m pretty is the question I wanna ask.
Curiosity kicks in. Is it my face? My hair? My highlights? *which from purple turn to the colour I have now* Is it my smile, that my mom paid huge sum for my lips to look better? Or is it my inside? My brain? *which obviously is not cuz I’m not bright!* Is it my heart? Is it my character? My personality? Or is it the photos I took of myself or being snap by others? What is it really, that they come to me and say, “Nat, you’re p.r.e.t.t.y” Hmmmmmmmm~
I think I said this like probably a million times. I SUCKED at RELATIONSHIP! I mean in any kind of relationship but not the boyfriend and girlfriend kind tho. =D Still single and pretty much wanna stay that way as long as I can. Hahaha. I should have been a boy. So relationship is an issue I won’t have to dwell on. If I were a boy…
Then again it is probably due the past experience where I not knowingly build up a wall, a defense mechanism. I’m pretty tough where I don’t talk bout my feelings and speak my mind with close friends. With normal friends I won’t have problems like these. But may be it’s because it someone close to me at heart where I rather just keep quiet and not speak out, scared and afraid of feelings being hurt.
You know what my problem is. My HEAD, EGO and EMOTIONS get to me every time when ever something happens. So for me I don’t really have good happy times or me moments which last for a long period of time but rather a super short period of time. Things could be the same but who am I kidding right. Wheeee. Dream dream dream and dream la me. Life isn’t easy. I can imagine when I grow up now. Even more complicated. Lol. Maybe I’m just SCARED. Yeah, maybe.
The past is always with us and I should stop running eh. Other things are easy but not humans. I think that humans need a manual instead of a car manual or a printer manual. I am not strong as you some of you are in relationships. I don’t move on easily. So far I think I only move on once on a relationship but the rest so far just untouched. I feel rather distant and far from most people I’m close too recently. 2nd semester sucked but then again fun too as I didn’t dwell much on this dramatic issues.
Every relationship in my life or yours happens only once in a lifetime. I think I owe it to myself to at least try. I owe it to a lot of my friends especially to one in particular. Hope she reads this and knows. It wasn’t easy for me and I should have just given it a try. I owe it to you. Sorry. I know it made you unhappy. I know you were disappointed as well. I guess I just wasn’t ready. Not ready still but then again. When was I ever ready for anything. I just fly through most of it without thinking. So yeah. How we communicate is kinda dysfunctional as well. Will try aite. Promise.
They dance all morning. Well EARLY morning to be EXACT!
They even dance to PCD song. :)
That's her look. Eva everyone. She's photogenic!
Aunty Chang Ming
Aunty Yeoh. Vina's awesome mom.
Ken & Me mom. Stella
Vina Both =D Her look on her face. Funny..
Spot light is all on them that morning
Eva & her mom Aunty Susan & Aunty Anna
Christmas is right around the corner! My favorite holiday season! Plus I heart WINTER! I love everything about Christmas. I love the songs, the colour and everything else with it! I want a whole full album of christmas songs! I don't really celebrate christmas though I wish I had. I love Christmas A LOT.
I guess I just wanna spend it with 1 or 2 really close friends or even better with Mun Mun and Wai Wai. Miss them loads. Wanna hang out with them badly. Wanna go travel with them. Wanna go camp with them. Wanna go through New Year eve together couting down the seconds. Both of them are just the best still no matter what. Never have issues or problems with them at all. All we do is laugh laugh laugh and laugh.
I have a really crazy goal. Is the top of my To Do list! Which is I wanna go travel around the world every year to one country and celebrate Christmas there with no other then FRIENDS! Then come back to my place for New Year! My place in like 10-15 years to come is a PENTHOUSE in the heart of the CITY enjoying the fireworks and the night view of KL. And by that time I’m pretty sure I will be glued to my DSLR with capture moments. I wanna a DSLR so badly as well.
Being single sounds so good to me la. Single means freedom to do whatever you like. =)