Shhhh.. Don't speak till you read. Don't judge till you judge yourself.
and just judging who I am and what I write about.
If you do have something to say nonetheless then I shall listen. :]
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So Come Away With Me to my side of the story and hear me out.
Come Away With Me, 9:59 PM, Monday, October 19, 2009
I wasn't raise to talk about my thoughts or voice out my opinions. I wasn't raise to express dissatisfaction nor was I raise to talk about emotions that runs through me. But I guess I was raise right some way or another cause I wasn't raise to protect the things I love or be loyal to the people who matters to me in my life. Through out the years I learn so many things and I learn to bent for family and friends. I might not be the type of person who runs to her best friends bout my emo stuff, I'm not at all like that. I'm the one who only wants to share the good things that happens to me with people and other then that no way in hell. I'm selfish in that way. I even push people away when I learn that they can take my shit I throw at them cause that just put them this much closer to my heart. And what would people do when they are scared, they run and avoid. That's what I do, I run and avoid.
I build my defense much stronger, my walls much thicker and higher. I'm not an open book where people can read me easily as they want to. I'm not what I appear to be despite my scary serious look. But all this you would know, at least some of you who is reading this would know. But I guess however I was brought up and whatever challenges that life has throw against me I learn to love one way or another. I was brought up right somehow and I protect the things I love. And family friends are the things I love, not that I need to cause all people I care about are strong and caring are raise up to be who they are meant to be by their parents. My parents might be big kids now with their hot-headed and stubbornness but they raise me to be who I am now. =)
And I ain't your average girl as well, for I love scars that I get through out my life.
People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.
What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.
I guess tonight is about me appreciating what I have and who I have with me now in my life. I love each and every single one of them. From my family to my best friends, college friends and camp friends. I love you guys. And thank you for putting up with my all, I know I ain't easy to crack. =) hugs.