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Come Away With Me, 2:45 PM, Friday, October 9, 2009
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow.
Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can.The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
Not only in grief you go through these five stages. In our daily routine, we go through this distinctive 5 stages too or at least I do. Not everyday but occasionally and it will always hurts like crap and I will feel like my gut or stomach isn't with me and its so hard for me to breathe. I've to sit down and roll up myself, hugging my legs so close to me just to feel better. Like I said, you think you moved on and gotten over it but it will always hit back twice as hard and you start all over again.
To me these five stages not only happens to me when my love ones has move on to another life, but as my predictions comes true and expectations just fails to meet. Or when the actions or words from the people you love and close to can inflict this horrible phase on you. And so on and forth. I can never get myself to stand strong and care less through these five stages or for the matter of fact, I can't even care less about everything in my life when I can't stop pleasing people.
A failure I am.
Failure's are not flattering. It makes me think that there's something wrong with me.