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Natalie Law
Come Away With Me, 9:44 PM, Thursday, September 3, 2009
Me, Myself & I only
If the times comes, that time comes. Where it only happens once in a while to any human being. The time where things just seems tumbling down and everything is just so wrong like the world is coming to an end. No matter how much you try to laugh it out or hide it. It stills crawls up twice as bad at it was the first. Then what do you do? Call your friend? What if he/she doesn't pick up. Text then? They don't reply. Shout? You will disturb the neighbors and your family will be worried sick. Punch? No punching bag. Lock yourself in the room and crank up the volume? Parents will be yelling. What then?
Its only normal to feeling like that once a while no matter how cheerful you are or how happy go lucky, funny, crazy, wild and energetic you are. There will always be a day or night when things just seems to fall apart all a sudden and emotions just run high and you start to feel so many things that you end up being mad and frustrated with yourself and tears will then start to fall. It's not so bad when you have people on your phone whom you know will be there to pick up when you call or when you text they reply. Don't be a person who just rather keep it all in cause of your ego and pride. Unless you don't know how to run to at times like this then its a different case. After all, people you may wanna run to might not be there and you end up being more down and emo. It will be like pouring salt to the wound.
Some people would text everything out till their word limits are out and end up browsing through the whole contact list but just too afraid to hit the send button cause of what might happen after it is sent out then cause of that, the erase button is the one you rather hit. I'm that kind of person. For far too long I'm afraid of what might happen after things are done. I worry too much that it will get to me. Specially if its that time. Even if you have friends being by your side through that time still it seems the same. Its the same old clique and words from the old book, the ones you heard it so many times only in a different way.
Its always nice still to know people are there for you who loves you no matter what, right? But sometimes is just not about that. Its about really understand what goes on during the midst of it all.Sure, its just a thing that will pass. Its only normal to feel this way after all. Even Superman does. So it is much easier to go through the night without having to face it all alone with you hiding under your only comfort of a blanket and trying to make yourself sleep it off.
***
On a slightly more funnier not so emo post. I got lock out today from my on home cause I forgotten my blardy house key! I waited outside at the park from 2pm-5pm. Its been like forever since I spent that much amount of time at the park. I think the last I stayed that long was beginning of my Form 5 senior year. Me and a few friends played basketball on the court after buying some food from the night market. We would lay there for a hour or two with out backs flat on the ground enjoying the night sky that has to offer. We played chinese music on the phone and would sing along to it and chat away.
And to go back even further to the past the last I spent that long at the park was with Jason and Ken. Back then oh boy the playground were made of wood and we had monkey bars. We had more then one slide. We had 2 small ones and 1 huge one that can fit 3 kids to slide down. Back then it was our escape from school work and just plain good old fun. Climbing trees too. We would play at the park till 8pm and my dad would be yelling me and Ken's name from the house and we would scream back coming coming for every 10mins.
I didn't self reflect during my afternoon there. More of me thinking back of the good old days when things are so much simpler and way less complicated. I lay down most of the time there and looking right up to the branches of leafs and seeing them go left to right, up and down when ever the wind blows and I felt peaceful till the point I was fall asleep. It was that calming for me. Then around 4 I got really bored I went and climbed the play ground and do it faster each time. I climbed up to the highest point and sat there. It was one of the roof. So I just lay back down and went back staring at the leafs again.
When Jia and KaySze call they laughed when I told them I got lock out. KaySze dropped by around 5 and back then Ken and my dad wasn't back yet. So we went and bought earth worms. And eeuwwww. Worms just give me the chills. I only went back in my house at 6:10pm. :) Laugh it out people. Its funny I know. Your mean. BooHooo. While I was at the park I couldn't think of anyone to call to come and lepak with me or even lepak with me via text message tau. Damn sad I tell you. Its like bad and good time la. *sings Akon-Lonely*