www.blur-natalicious.blogspot.com welcome to my blog
Shhhh.. Don't speak till you read. Don't judge till you judge yourself.
Just a place for me to speak freely without anyone breathing down my neck
and just judging who I am and what I write about.
If you do have something to say nonetheless then I shall listen. :]
For a more photographic blog do hop over the links and click on 'My Tumblr Blog'.
So Come Away With Me to my side of the story and hear me out.
Come Away With Me, 9:16 PM, Thursday, May 21, 2009
Law's & Birthdays
The title says in all really but it a vague way. This morning got woken up by mom to jaga the cleaner once again at 8:30am and I slept at around 4:15-ish in the morning? So yeah. Not just that I got lectures and nagging while she was down stairs telling me how I should take care and clean up the house and not wait for her to tell me only I go do and blablabla etc etc etc. And it so happens I accidentally texted the wrong cleaner our home address. So I got shouted by mom early morning in my room. What a super good way to start the day off right. Bah.
So its cool. I manage to let her go on with what she do best picking out my wrongs and flaws while I lay on my bed thinking how my life suck right now. And I just realize why I wanted so much to stay away from home when I can and whenever I can. I rather go work and have more OT without pay then to stay home. I rather be at college and having to stress over assignments and exams. My home isn't all that perfect I know but really I feel like all I come home to is just to my room to my bed or to the computer room where I go online. Period.
Have I mention how much I hate daily routines? I can not sit put and do the same things over and over again everyday. I will go nuts I tell you. When I say my life sucks is because my parents only picks out the worst in me and never praise me when I do something right but rather I get lectures of how I do things to my whim and fancy or that I'm so temperamental. I don't know what hurts most but yeah. It hurts when my dad says I'm temperamental and I don't have a say when they just comes home in a bad mood and talks in stressing high tone at me now do I? He tells me these days a lot that I'm so temperamental. Argh. It just irritates and pisses me off. Like why must he always say that! Ahhhh!
I didn't wish mom Happy Birthday this morning. I wanted too but just before I could wish her I get lectures and I end up having to listen to my dad says that I treat friends better than family in the car just now when they got home. Well, I'm sorry if I didn't wish mom happy birthday. Anyways, we went out for dinner near our place and I sneak out to get the bill just before dad could. So it was my gift to mom and dad. I have to tell you, Law's and birthday do not go along. Seriously, we never take birthday seriously nor anything for the fact, yet my parents wants us all to go travel and spend family time when we can really just do it at home for a starter. So when I get presents for friends or go out and celebrate with them I will get the treat your friends better than family kinda of crap all over again. Not like I didn't suggest we go out for dinner and celebrate or lets go get a cake when it was any of our birthday in the family.
I don't have a mom who is like a best friend or friend to me. I don't have a father who tries to understand that it is okay for me to show my temper once a while and not being taken as a spoil brat. My parents are tough. Tough enough to keep me and my siblings in line and best part is, we 3 siblings all have their personality and character. :] My parents raise us up well. Well enough to stay out of trouble and be single still till now for the 3 of us.
I don't hate my parents not intentionally though. But they just got to stop thinking that they have a say in everything and that only their way of thinking is right while my thinking and everything else is nothing and I have no say it in what so ever. I'm 19 and I'm not a little girl no more. I can't have them not trying to understand me but yet wants me to be someone who they want me to be. So yeah, I definitely miss Ken and Marcus cause some how they will always defend me or at least be there to stop the tears from flowing down my eyes at this very moment like how they used to do.
I'm pretty much the weakness in my family and very emotional. To my parents I'm the rebellious one among all 3 of us and yet they can't seem to see that I'm so much like them in reality. And that there and then scares me the most.