Shhhh.. Don't speak till you read. Don't judge till you judge yourself.
and just judging who I am and what I write about.
If you do have something to say nonetheless then I shall listen. :]
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So Come Away With Me to my side of the story and hear me out.
Come Away With Me, 10:10 PM, Thursday, June 12, 2008
If words were said can be taken back just like that then why say it at 1st. I know I said things without thinking throughly and it hurted you you and you or you. But I can't take it back I can't act like I didn't say it. I can't act like I done nothing wrong without even a sorry.
What you done is alright, its all good and all fine. What ever I done is effecting people and its not alright, fine nor good.
If actions can be taken lightly without judgement. I wouldn't have to go through all this and you and you won't have to comfort me. I would be judge by what I did or do in the past that still haunts not only myself but others to who is able to feel the fear or what I did like it was just yesterday.
If... My words. My actions. My expressions. My thoughts. Can be taken as lightly as everyone else.I look like a fool right now. Listening to people. Their words. Your words. Their thoughts. Your thoughts. Bringing me down always. Trying to be that person they wanna see but ask to see the me being me.
I wanna be myself with everyone. But I was unable for so long and that I'm different with different people. My personality changes when I'm with you or he or she or they or them.
Now I'm trying to be just one to everyone.I'm more and more confuse as ever I can be. Lost as I can be. Finding my way in this maze its tiring. My issues ain't nothing to most people but its what I'm facing and have to go through. Everyone has different issues they have to face, fight and solve.
Well... This is mine.
If my words hurt you. What about yours? If my actions brought you to dislike me. What about yours? If my jokes have shock you. What about yours? If my expressions is hard to take. What about yours? If my ways of replying isn't the way you like. What about yours?Its like you can joke and be a dumb blonde or a bitchy sluty lady and get away with it cause its a joke. What about me then? I get it that I suck at jokes or my expressions but shouldn't I be treated the same? Not bout joking and acting like a dumb blonde or sluty bitch but why can people who said things they don't mean to or jokes they told or expressions they give or anythings else get no judge but everybody laughing and I get the opposite.
When what they did it was not on purpose or words that mean no harm at all they don't apologize or go like, "ouh.. I did.." Why? Is it cause it don't mean anything to them but just, "Opppss. It wasn't my intention or anything." Or is it cause I'm being to sensitive thinking it only mean something to me.So yeah. Teach me. Tell me. Explain to me. Don't take things and make it hard on myself. Don't let what has been said get to me hard. I wish I could but I can't. Cause people don't as well.I tried being cautions with what I said, act, jokes and all craps that comes out of me. And still I'm being asked not to be so careful. I'm trying ways. And ways. And ways...
Still I'm going no where.At days it seems like its finally a sunny day then comes along a little rain. Still having hope and faith that things will turn out fine then a tunderstorm just comes hitting. Ouch. Really. Ouch. Like people say. Your love ones hurt you the most. Its true. I certainly hurts my love ones before it ways I never knew I did even didn't realize. So now I know how it feels. What goes around really comes around. Still I love you all. But it's myself I can't believe in and trust. I'm a no one to you guys and that I meant nothing is carve in my brain. I know it's not true. I know I'm being loved. I know I'm being watched over. I know I'm being cared.
Who to blame? No one. Myself I should say. Wouldn't you.